Thank you and the Flying Egg

Just thought i'd share this image i created recently for a charity called Home-Start. I was asked to pick a month for a charity calendar and create an image with Home-Start in mind. This idea for April came very quickly to me as i'd always wanted to create a flying machine of sorts, just never thought it'd be a flying egg! As much as it is obvious that it's a flying machine, i also wanted to incorporate a weather vane, external and an internal. We all get sad some days and i wanted to express that with a bit of help we can change our internal weather-vane to something happy and that is where the rainbow comes in. It's quite a meaningful image for me as i am too aware of how life can have it's lumps and bumps, how people can come and go, how we can be served a curve-ball smack in the face. With a little nurturing, with help and a bit of love we can change how we feel.

I have recently been feeling slightly dampened with my work and creativity, but from people reaching out to me, my internal weather-vane is starting to change shape and colour. I had a lovely email from John Pollex a wonderful potter, who i'd never met or heard of before. Just giving me a bit of encouragement and making me realise a few things made me feel very warm. I also received a lovely email from Louise Mortley who helps run Home-Start with words of encouragement too. People never cease to amaze me when they share their feelings and kind words. We all need it, some more than others but i am always grateful when someone reaches out past their own selves to share their thoughts and feelings. so a big thank you to those that have. I also want to thank Cass for pushing me to show my work and give me some good advice, it's always appreciated :) and my very good friend The Garrulous Griffin, who ALWAYS has wise words to share (see his blog, it's bright and shiny and new)

Who knows what is in store for me this year, i'm not sure if i'm still working with the publisher any more but i do still love drawing and painting so will keep on keeping on.

the forecast is rain, with intervals of sunshine

Wow, it's been a while since i last posted. I did one around xmas time but it wasn't in keeping with my illustration stuff so it had to go *chop chop*.

I think I've not posted because I'd been working so hard on the book and getting stuff done for deadline. I finally sent some work to the publisher which i was really proud of and thought would make great pages. Due to some mis-communication, problems and hair pulling i was told they weren't suitable. I shan't list the negatives as it'd only refuel my thoughts I'd had about this and anyway it'd probably feel like pulling a plaster off real slow.

The negatives knocked me side-ways, upside down, all over the place and i found it difficult to pick myself back up. I'd worked so hard on these images and to find they only liked one small vignette and wanted me base the rest of my work around that was hard to stomach. I didn't pick my pencils/paintbrush up for a couple of weeks and sought advice from anywhere i could get it on how to pull through this. But at the back of my mind i thought...

*It's hard to face a bag of negatives in a positive light when you're only offered a positive in a negative reflection*


My thoughts started to spiral downwards and i became very negative. It felt like someone was stabbing me over and over again. My brain kept saying *what do i have to do to please these people*, but i was told over and over again by friends that *these people* are business people and in the end they have to make money, so my feelings aren't really a concern.

i really thought I'd got a grip of negative criticism over the years, but this made me realise i needed a new safety net for when i fell.

From all the negatives , i had to eventually find some solace in the little positive remark and the remarks from friends and strangers. But mainly, I had to realise that i am not just book illustration, that is not who i am, i am more than that. I can't rely on that external work to pad out my own psyche, i needed to reach inside and get back to me.

I can't say it's been easy, but i can say it's been a bloody weird journey! I am still not 100% but i feel better about myself and my work. Who knows where all this will go, maybe i am not destined to stay in this industry, i can't control that but i can have bloody good stab at it.

pumpy pumpy pumpkin

I've sat here for a little while trying different beginnings for this blog, when i got to 'pumpy, pumpy pumpkin,' i knew it was time to come down off the ceiling and cut out the caffeine. Finished working on adding a bit of colour on the illustration for my story i posted a little while ago. It's been an interesting journey; one of layers and layers of learning, photoshopping, chewing my nails and eating far too many cookies. But i am happy with the finished results, although i'm sure i'll try another version soon and like that one better, but for now i'll be leaving it there and get another started.

Things are still slow with the publisher, it seems that Frankfurt(er) is getting in the way of them pushing the book on any further! Damn you Frankfurt(er), i shake my cookie crumbed fist in your direction and stick my tongue out to roll off a raspberry just for you!

Right i must go and do something productive....i wonder if there's another packet of cookies that really need eating?

P.s i also wanted to add i've been doing this with flu symptoms, now do you feel sorry for me?!

Pencil peace

Well, i've finally put pencil to paper and got my head around this story . It took me about 5 days to complete and i'm pretty darned happy at that! Now to pass it onto my agent and see what she can do with it. Right onto the next piece!!

Ta daaaaaa.....bit of work, a few words and a bath tub

It's that time again. I haven't blogged in ages, not sure what to do! I'll start with the commission i received to create a character of a friend's mother. Terribly tricky it was, as i had to get it just so, but i really enjoyed the challenge. I hope she likes it....fingers crossed.

Things are moving along with the book, 'Flower in the Snow' by Tracey Corderoy. Her website has some really loose sketches i'd done previously (do all illustrators hate looking at their loose sketches, or is it just me!?) and the colour image on the left. Things are still not finalised, but so far so good. I have faith it's going to be a fab journey. It's nice to see things moving on for friends too, lots of people from uni getting along just fine! (I can't believe i left uni 18 months ago! I have been working on this book that long! sheesh! but i wouldn't change it for the world).

Ta daaaa, that's it, that's all i have to report. I have very few words in my head at the moment, wish i could translate some of these images though. I'd probably be able to fill a bathtub with words.....hmmmm...... bathtub full of words, now where's me pencil!

Just a bit of colour and feet eating

Thought i'd add a bit of colour to this image as an experiment. Quite like it, although not too sure on snowflakes...let's call it a work in progress.

Had a pretty good day today, managed to eat 22 olives. Yum. Oh not just olives, i've eaten other stuff but i felt rather proud of my chomping feat (ok ok, not feet eating, but you know what i mean!)

a very helpful website for freelancers and some news

Well i'm not sure if this will help anyone but it's full of advice and guidelines. If, like me, you hate dealing with the money side of things, you might want to go to this website... Freelance Fees Guide it covers so many aspects of freelance work, that i am sure someone could use it for advice. If not maybe throw it to the wolves....

Anyway enough of the darker side of things. Stuff (don't you just love that word....stuff...stuff....stuff it....stuff up, his stuff, her stuff, their stuff) with Egmont is moving forward and i have another date set to meet up with them to show all my work for The Flower in the Snow story. 'Yippee', i cried when i heard the news, but that was choked back when i realised i had SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH WORK TO DO in such a small amount of time. So i now have to get off my butt and pull my proverbial socks up (any higher and they'll be hitching a ride on my lugholes). I could write a list of things i need to do by then, but, and this may sound stupid, i don't actually know what i need to do. I know what i want to do and that's get a big crayon, a roll of wall paper and make messy with it. Alas, i doubt this will get me very far when they ask to see pictures of polar bears and rabbits and other strange things.

So now i am here thinking 'jeeee....sus, what shall i do next?'. Where's all the advice i stored away during the 3 years i was at uni? This is when i realise it's a lonely life as an illustrator, who do i turn to to help me get done what i need to get done. I hate to put myself onto other people, sometimes it's hard to ask for advice as i hate bothering friends. I guess i shall have to put it out into the universe and maybe whilst i'm at it i'll ask for some scones, a nice cake stand for my friend, a new pencil and a castle. (does anybody else want anything whilst i am asking the universe to deliver?)

Well i guess i'll say watch this space and thanks for reading, i hope the website i linked to is helpful.