hubble bubble toil and pencil smudges

Just getting to the end of a commissioned piece for a friend of a friend. I've thoroughly enjoyed doing this pencil image. I pretty much had free reign apart from a few requests. I'll soon be adding colour to a scanned copy, which i'm really excited about as i can't wait to experiment with colour on this. I've still to add more to the back ground and darken some areas but i'm really happy with what i've created. Hopefully i'm getting my confidence back, finally, after a couple of years of it hiding away.

I need to note to myself, it's amazing how much smudge i can create, even when hardly touching the piece, there's always a little bit of pencil dancing around in the wrong place. I bet if i stared at it long enough there'd be a smudge forming in unwanted places!

Well, it's time to finish this up and move along to colour, i'll post here soon. Wish me luck.

the forecast is rain, with intervals of sunshine

Wow, it's been a while since i last posted. I did one around xmas time but it wasn't in keeping with my illustration stuff so it had to go *chop chop*.

I think I've not posted because I'd been working so hard on the book and getting stuff done for deadline. I finally sent some work to the publisher which i was really proud of and thought would make great pages. Due to some mis-communication, problems and hair pulling i was told they weren't suitable. I shan't list the negatives as it'd only refuel my thoughts I'd had about this and anyway it'd probably feel like pulling a plaster off real slow.

The negatives knocked me side-ways, upside down, all over the place and i found it difficult to pick myself back up. I'd worked so hard on these images and to find they only liked one small vignette and wanted me base the rest of my work around that was hard to stomach. I didn't pick my pencils/paintbrush up for a couple of weeks and sought advice from anywhere i could get it on how to pull through this. But at the back of my mind i thought...

*It's hard to face a bag of negatives in a positive light when you're only offered a positive in a negative reflection*


My thoughts started to spiral downwards and i became very negative. It felt like someone was stabbing me over and over again. My brain kept saying *what do i have to do to please these people*, but i was told over and over again by friends that *these people* are business people and in the end they have to make money, so my feelings aren't really a concern.

i really thought I'd got a grip of negative criticism over the years, but this made me realise i needed a new safety net for when i fell.

From all the negatives , i had to eventually find some solace in the little positive remark and the remarks from friends and strangers. But mainly, I had to realise that i am not just book illustration, that is not who i am, i am more than that. I can't rely on that external work to pad out my own psyche, i needed to reach inside and get back to me.

I can't say it's been easy, but i can say it's been a bloody weird journey! I am still not 100% but i feel better about myself and my work. Who knows where all this will go, maybe i am not destined to stay in this industry, i can't control that but i can have bloody good stab at it.

pumpy pumpy pumpkin

I've sat here for a little while trying different beginnings for this blog, when i got to 'pumpy, pumpy pumpkin,' i knew it was time to come down off the ceiling and cut out the caffeine. Finished working on adding a bit of colour on the illustration for my story i posted a little while ago. It's been an interesting journey; one of layers and layers of learning, photoshopping, chewing my nails and eating far too many cookies. But i am happy with the finished results, although i'm sure i'll try another version soon and like that one better, but for now i'll be leaving it there and get another started.

Things are still slow with the publisher, it seems that Frankfurt(er) is getting in the way of them pushing the book on any further! Damn you Frankfurt(er), i shake my cookie crumbed fist in your direction and stick my tongue out to roll off a raspberry just for you!

Right i must go and do something productive....i wonder if there's another packet of cookies that really need eating?

P.s i also wanted to add i've been doing this with flu symptoms, now do you feel sorry for me?!

Pencil peace

Well, i've finally put pencil to paper and got my head around this story . It took me about 5 days to complete and i'm pretty darned happy at that! Now to pass it onto my agent and see what she can do with it. Right onto the next piece!!

Ta daaaaaa.....bit of work, a few words and a bath tub

It's that time again. I haven't blogged in ages, not sure what to do! I'll start with the commission i received to create a character of a friend's mother. Terribly tricky it was, as i had to get it just so, but i really enjoyed the challenge. I hope she likes it....fingers crossed.

Things are moving along with the book, 'Flower in the Snow' by Tracey Corderoy. Her website has some really loose sketches i'd done previously (do all illustrators hate looking at their loose sketches, or is it just me!?) and the colour image on the left. Things are still not finalised, but so far so good. I have faith it's going to be a fab journey. It's nice to see things moving on for friends too, lots of people from uni getting along just fine! (I can't believe i left uni 18 months ago! I have been working on this book that long! sheesh! but i wouldn't change it for the world).

Ta daaaa, that's it, that's all i have to report. I have very few words in my head at the moment, wish i could translate some of these images though. I'd probably be able to fill a bathtub with words.....hmmmm...... bathtub full of words, now where's me pencil!

Bah humbag and stuffing Santa back up the chimney.

Well here we are again. Writing those conscious and unconscious thoughts (the unconscious usually go something like this "wkjjh egf sergg aehr g g  ejrhge quack", so i'll refrain from sharing too many of those).

I am not feeling christmassy. No really, it betrayed me, it came and it left very quickly. Whoosh. I enjoyed the feeling for as long as it was here but it decided to say it was leaving. oh well. Another time!

I am enjoying the twinkly lights and seeing other people enjoy this time of year. Even in times of economic crisis it's good to see people gesticulating 2 fingers in the direction of the bank gods and spending like crazy. 

I heard from Egmont about my work and so far so good. The roughs went to another meeting and they were praised quite highly. Some stuff to change but isn't that the way! Hand in date is early January and then i have to wait for the greenlight meeting. In the mean time my agent wants colour work to take around so i think i'll be busy for next coming months. (Probably a good thing as i seemed to have lost my other glove and my hand is cold waiting for the glove to be given back to me).

It's still a lonely life as an illustrator but hopefully the new year will bring some new challenges and people to meet. I look forward to it. Get rid of the old and bring in the new please!

I thought i'd share another rough with you (above probably as i haven't worked out how to insert image between para's). I quite like the way they look on screen, gives me hope for publication :o)

So the Santa stuffing, shall i do it if he decides to visit me? Hell yes and i'll send him packing with some (bah) humbugs too ksdjgf w gkaw gdag js  v we gt d quack ;o)

Oh Chrimble Tree, oh Chrimble Tree

It's a that time again. Decorations clambering to make it near the top of the tree, lights twinkling, mince pies calling your name several times in one hour and the not knowing what to buy Aunt Betty other than a bumper bag of Murray Mints and a bath bomb.

Oh i do love christmas. It's the time when i see lots of smiles from family and friends, which makes me glow rather a lot.

Today i received my first christmas card and it's beautiful. It was created by the artist Faye Durston. Her style is reminiscent of the great Arthur Rackham and a couple of others whose names aren't coming to my mind at the moment. I love the colour use and pencil work. I sit there wondering if i am doing the right thing when i see Faye's work!! (Brain settle down).

Here's something i'm working on at the moment for Egmont (above - can anybody tell me how to insert the image between paragraphs please?), another rough but still i'm enjoying the pencil work. Quite a journey for me as there was a time when i hated using pencil, i mean REALLY HATED it. I used to use architects blue pencil to draw (still do) but refused flatly to use leaded pencil. I think being on the M.A with so many students who could draw so well (Faye and Cass in particular), really made me step back and realise i needed to improve on something that i didn't think i could actually improve on. But the last few months i have been perservering and trying very hard to accomplish at least a few roughs from my practicing. I like what i have done and feel chuffed when i look at it (although getting wonderful cards through the post doesn't help my confidence...lol).

Well who knows where my practicing will take me eh? Just have to 'keep on, keeping on'. tis a bit lonely though being an illustrator who practically lives in her studio. I need to get out more. Now where's that mince pie making group, i need inside information. Amen.

Lists and things

Ooo what a day i'm having. There's so many things written on my list of things to do. Here's a little shifty into my world of list writing...

1. Get some stuff
2. draw some bits on the dooberry
3. POLAR BEAR bum
4. moosic

and there we have it, a list of deep thought and importance. Hmmm, yes, i'll be sorted if i get that list ticked off, eh!. Anyway enough of that waffle (or is it dribble/drivvle?). 

I haven't blogged in ages and feel pretty poop for not getting my inner most waffle on here for people (or beings) to read some time in the future. So why haven't i been waffling....i mean blogging? Well mainly due to sorting out my illness which has boiled down to be chronically fatigued. Remedy? Oh yes! I had a food intolerance test done and it looks like i'm intolerable...i mean intolerant to dorito's. Uh huh, those and wheat, fructose, dairy, yeast and celery. Hmmm but fear not i can eat saw dust and S.F.A. Don't worry about me i'll be fine. 3 bean salad here i come.

I've also been working on book roughs for Egmont publishers... i'm loving it. If not a little wobbly at times with my 'style' (god bless Martin for making me shudder when i use the word style) i am endeavoring to have fun with my work. I've been around some really negative people which makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs "it's a PUPPET" (i know i know, i don't make much sense, at least i know i don't make sense, that's half the battle isn't it?) 

So here's an image i really like that i produced a couple of weeks ago (above), it was sent to the author and she loved it. YAY....(mental image....Loo clicks heels in the air). 

Erm, yes and i've done a few more. I'll add at a later date, i have to finish ticking things off my list. Joy.